Corbett Confidential
Sunday, 3 March 2013
Gossip from our mystery man at the heart of Irish poker . Well, actually it's just Ciaran Corbett with his eyes blocked out, but hey...
I’m lying here on a beach in Goa and have made the mother of all mistakes and gone somewhere where Vodafone has coverage (chances of that happening!). This makes it possible for my editor (The Great) Philip C to get hold of me and chase me for this month’s most-read article in Bluff globally. You will have to forgive the brevity of this month’s entry as I am dictating this to my Indian guide Mossu as I drink a very potent cocktail from a coconut whilst lounging in a hammock and staring at some bikini clad Scandie women from beneath the cover of my Ray-Bans.
Caught Catnapping
Which well known English poker player (now settled in Ireland) has recently undergone psychiatric evaluation after been found to be the culprit behind a series of disappearances of a number of local felines?
The player was first caught when a neighbour complained to the local County Council about the smell coming from the player’s house. The local authorities broke down the door and found that the guy had 10 cats living in his home, all of which belonged to people from within a three- or four-mile radius and had been reported missing over the course of the last couple of months. The house was covered in cat shit and was reminiscent of something from A Life of Grime – although all reports indicate that his bedroom was kept cat-free and it was clean.
When asked why he taken to “collecting” cats, the player is reported to have stated that he was lonely, as the poker world had turned its back on him since his fortunes had turned (basically since he had run out of people to nip).
The player has been ordered to undergo counselling twice a month for the next six months and was ordered by the court to carry out 40 hours of community service. This will prove to be the first time our hero has worked a 40-hour week in a long, long time!